Punk industrial hard rocker with attitude is still alive!

My debut novel "Punk industrial hard rocker with attitude" (Punkindustriell hårdrockare med attityd) is still very much alive.

Today I visited a college in Sweden and talked about the background of the book, why and how I wrote it.

It all started with a short story I'd written when I did a writing course. It was about a girl called Amanda who wanted to have a piercing done by her older punk friend Sid, but he refused to do it, said it was too close to the eye. In the opening chapter of "Punk industrial hard rocker with attitude", Amanda the main character wants her nose pierced by her older female friend Kim (Sid had to change both name and sex!), but Kim says no and helps her to colour her hair instead.

I also revealed that the novel has no plot. But I let Amanda overcome some traumas that pushed the story forward. The trauma of experiencing the first piss-up, the first kiss, the first sex, the first boyfriend. I thought those things were very traumatic when I went to school and I still feel very uncomfortable walking into a school building. Even the teachers could relate to what I was talking about, confirming the unwritten laws about who's popular and who's not.

I didn't have much time to talk about my current book project, Swenglish, but you can read all about it here.

PÅ SVENSKA

Hurry up and Wait! - interview with author Isabel Ashdown

This week I'm delighted to present my interview with author Isabel Ashdown. Her latest novel, Hurry Up and Wait! kept me awake for a whole night as I couldn't put it down. I do love coming- of-age stories ...

They say the second book is the hardest, but you’ve done such a good job, and I think Hurry Up and Wait is even better than your debut Glasshopper which I really loved. How was the writing process for you? Was it easier or harder to write the second one?

Thank you! I suppose the writing process was always going to be very different for my second novel; this time round I had a publishing contract – an audience – and, gulp, a well-received first novel to live up to. So in some ways, I felt a little more exposed. I’m a very private writer – with the exception of two close writer friends, I never reveal my work until I feel it’s ready. Even my husband doesn’t get to see a word of it until it’s at an advanced stage. Thankfully, my fiction editor at Myriad, Vicky Blunden, is very understanding, and she left me to get on with it until I was ready to share.

Where did you get the initial idea from?

The seed of it began with a five minute screenplay I wrote several years ago, in which a woman reluctantly attends her high school reunion. I thought, how would I feel about a school reunion; would I go? The thought of it filled me with horror. My writing always starts with the character, and the Sarah of my screenplay was so clear to me, that I suppose it was inevitable I would go back to explore her story further.

How much did you plot and how much did happen as you were writing?

I tend to free-write initially, while I discover the characters and sense of place. Then, once I have a strong feeling about my new world, I panic. I panic over the lack of structure, the hazy direction, the absence of strategy ... In life and in business, I’m one of life’s natural planners, so this way of working is alien to me – but if I’ve discovered one thing about my writing, it’s that it does me good to let myself go a bit, before I pull everything together with a rough plot outline. Of course, the final story never ends up looking very much like that initial plot outline!

Any thoughts on the structure? Did it help using a school year as a model?

It seemed right to locate this story within one full, final school year. So much can shift and alter in those last ten months, as girls teeter on the edge of womanhood, so desperate to be treated like adults, yet so inexperienced and vulnerable. The end of exams and the start of the summer holidays seem to me such poignant turning points in anyone’s history.

How come you decided to frame the novel with an event taking place twenty-four years later?

The story opens in present day, with 39-year-old Sarah preparing to attend the school reunion. Her 40^th year felt like a significant moment to take her back to a place and time that changed her forever.

Did you have all characters clear from the beginning or did extras pop us as you were writing?

There are always a couple of very strong characters who draw me along, and everyone else seems to appear as they’re needed. Often I’ll discover someone new, quite by chance, and it’s thrilling, like being handed an unexpected gift. Today, whilst working on my next novel, I discovered Gordon; he’s a brilliant, quirky character I hadn’t planned at all – but somehow he managed to sneak in and steal the scene.

Did you make detailed character sketches or did they happen more organically?

They just seem to develop naturally. I guess the writer’s job is to supply the situations, to set the scene, and to provoke those characters into showing themselves as they really are.

How much did you think of your own school time as you were writing?

Lots – although I was careful not to inadvertently include any real people! I purposely set the events in my own school year, which helped me to stay true to the atmosphere of the era.

Why did you decide to use the fictive names East and West Selton? (It’s clear you had East and West Wittering in mind, as you even mention that a Rolling Stone got a house there?)

Within the novel there are a number of anagrams of real places – for example Selton is Solent. I wanted a fictional town, to allow the story to go where I needed it to. But if pushed, I’d say Selton is a complex blend of coastal East Wittering, where I grew up, and inland Chichester, where I attended high school. Nice to see you got the Rolling Stones reference!

What role did the band Blondie play for the novel?

When I was fifteen, I was massively into Blondie, even though they weren’t all that current by the mid-eighties. I loved the punk influences; Debbie Harry’s stance was so sexy and cool, and above all, the music seemed to speak to me. In part, I was probably indulging my own nostalgic memories by drawing a favourite band into the story. But more importantly, a band like Blondie represented an exotic ‘otherness’ to a conventional girl like Sarah, growing up within the suffocating constraints of small town England in the 1980s.

Did you have to research the 80s stuff of did you remember most of it?

I’ve got a good memory for that kind of detail, so the story sprang out of that. But as I wrote, I was constantly researching information to check my memories were accurate, particularly for historical detail like news footage of the Chernobyl disaster, or for release dates of albums or films I might mention.

Finally, what’s the theme of your next novel?

I’m busy at work on my next novel, which takes place on a British island one summer in the 1970s. It’s a family drama centred on a scandal in a small community, set against the shifting Seventies backdrop of political unrest, social change and vibrant cultural development. The research part of the process is endlessly fascinating, and as well as exploring the historical details of the era I like to immerse myself in the music, which is no hardship as far as that decade is concerned. In fact, I’m just cueing up Bowie’s Young Americans as we speak ...

There’s still a lot of work to do, but it’s gradually coming together. Having done this a couple of times now, I know there’ll be moments of fear and uncertainty along the way, but with any luck, moments of enlightenment and joy will visit me in equal measure!

Thanks for asking me along to chat, Louise – and I’ll let you know when the next book is due to hit the shelves.

Thank you too, Issie for your inspiring answers!

If you want to find out more about Isabel Ashdown and her books visit her website here.

Hurry up and Wait! is available here. What are you waiting for?

A Perfect Storm at Ace Stories

When I look back at this year, thinking of things I've enjoyed the most, Ace Stories, at Hotel Pelirocco in Brighton, is high on my list. It was a true honour to be invited to read at such a well-organised event, and a good occasion for me to try out UNDER THE LIP on an audience for the very first time.

It felt a bit like introducing a new boyfriend/girlfriend to your friends, anxiously hoping that everyone will like him/her. Luckily my novel extracts went down well. The theme for the evening was sea-faring and I had picked three scenes from UNDER THE LIP where the sea features: main character Natalie arriving in Brighton, then hanging out on the beach with a punk girl, and finally escaping into the sea after an argument with her parents.


Next up was Courttia Newland, writer-in-residence at Kingston Writing School, who read a short story set by the seaside in Africa.


Actor Brendan Wyer read an extract from Jack London's classic The Sea Wolf.


And Dr Sue Currell, Senior Lecturer in American Literature, discussed The Sea Wolf with Ace Stories director Jay Clifton. I haven't read The Sea Wolf, but Sue was very engaging and told us that even though some of London's writing can come across us anti-feminist he was a great supporter of the suffragette moment.

My highlight of the evening was blues singer and musician Sandy Dillon who performed songs from the forthcoming album Shipwreck'd with guitarist Ray Majors. As well as being a good singer and player Sandy is also a fantastic lyricist. The 'shipwrecked' songs are all based on true stories.

I bought one of Sandy's CD and was lucky enough to get a chat with both her and Ray! I'm totally in love with their music. Lovely people too!

I also love the Hotel Pelirocco*, and last night I felt like a real star having "Perfect Storm" - Kraken Rum cocktails, chatting to artists and other random people. A big thank you to everyone involved in Ace Stories for putting such a great night together. As usual I took photos of the night and all pics are by me apart from the first which is taken by Sam Collins, and the last couple of pics are by Solera Russell.


*Dear Santa, please give me a night in the "Pretty Vacant" room ...

"What must it be like to be a paedophile who lives near a kid’s playground?" - Interview with Starlings Author Erinna Mettler

Starlings is a daisy-chain novel set in Brighton; I finished reading it about a month ago, but the characters won’t leave me alone. Every time I walk around Brighton someone from the book pops up in my mind, it could be anyone from a paedophile to a mod from the 60s. As I was very curious about the way Starlings was written, the author Erinna Metttler kindly agreed to be interviewed. Enjoy her inspiring answers!

How did you go about writing Starlings? Were they all separate stories to begin with, when did you decide to link them and how did you do it?

I was lucky enough to take a creative writing course at Sussex University. It was a workshop based course which involved writing short pieces and getting feedback on them in class. The first chapter of Starlings was one of the stories I wrote for that. It’s based on an urban myth, I had heard the story about the paedophile living next to a children’s playground many times, but every time it had something different about it, a different playground, a different outcome. I think people can’t help exaggerating stories but they are equally quick to believe something that they’re told is true. I wanted to explore the way myths are created in a city through assumptions and word of mouth. I wrote Roses and Birdsong next and had the idea of linking it somehow to Andy (the paedophile in the first chapter) so I made a minor character in it his father. After that everything in the book seemed to link together. It’s the way people communicate, it’s not even gossip, it’s more like passing around stories. Brighton is a characterful city and you keep seeing those characters around, it’s also small enough to bump into people you know, or know of, just walking around town. We’re all closely connected to each other and that’s what I was trying to show in Starlings.

When it was all finished it was a nightmare to get into order. I had a spread-sheet with who was who, how they linked, their dates of birth and death and when they met each other. There are some very complex connections and some very simple ones. The first and last chapter were always that, but the others moved around in sequence, they still could, you don’t have to read them in a particular order. I don’t think people should stress about making the connections, just read the stories and if they connect then fine. If you like the book it is better to read it twice because then you pick up on a lot more. I must admit, I like books that ask you to work at understanding them. I think the reader should be actively involved and not just treat every book like fast food.

Where did the initial inspiration come from?

I was sitting at the West Pier Playground on a cold sunny day while my kids were playing. I always have a note book and I just wrote what I saw, describing everything as if I was filming it, but didn’t have a camera and had to do it with words. That’s how I always get started, and then I fill in the story, and the senses you can’t film, like touch and smell and taste. With Andy I thought it would be interesting to tell the story from the point of view of the person who never gets to be heard. I mean, what must it be like to be a paedophile who lives near a kid’s playground? Then I wanted to balance that by showing what a mother who loses her children goes through, that was much easier because every mother has lost sight of their child once in a while and imagined the worst.

The other stories came from walking around Brighton with a notepad and picking up ideas from what I saw and overheard. I’m a terrible magpie – don’t sit near me on the bus.

Did you plot each individual story or did you “just write them”?

I always just write. I usually write the beginning first, then the end and then fill in the middle, but sometimes a story will just naturally flow from the first line to the last. More often than not I’ll think I’ve finished something and then go back to it a few days later and write twice as much again. With Starlings I didn’t plot until I’d finished, and then I went back over everything and tightened up both individual and overall plots. I’m not that hung up on plot, I think it can work against natural creative energy, for me it’s much better to just see where the story takes me. Often the stories in Starlings intertwined without me having to think about it too much.

All stories are set in and around Brighton where you live, despite knowing the environment did you have to do any research?

I talked at a book group the other day and one of the members said they would have put money on me being Brighton born and bred, that made me very happy. I’ve lived here for seven years but it was only four when I wrote the book. My knowledge of the city grew as I wrote the book and I think sometimes an outsider’s eye is invaluable in picking up things people take for granted. Apart from just wandering around and writing what I experienced, I had to go deeper into some spaces than others. I got a tour of behind the scenes at the Booth’s Museum – which was utterly fascinating – and of The Old Police Cell’s under the Town Hall. You can go into the cells and see the graffiti on the walls written by the mods and rockers who were arrested in the May Day riots. I watched footage of inside The West Pier just before it burned down, and anything about the incident on Youtube. I did a lot of newspaper research on the city’s history, the war, the 1950s and 60s, what shops and cinemas and cafes there were then. With the stories that explore the nastier elements, drugs, wife beating, child abuse, I was very careful to do as much research as I could, articles, testimony, academic journals, people working in those areas. You need to get it right, otherwise you are doing those involved a disservice.

In one of the stories, The Wife Of Joshua Bones, you have a character writing a fictive story. What was the thought behind that?

I think that might be my favourite story. Originally, it was much longer and alternated between Dia’s fictional imaginings and her real life, which was much more mundane, school runs, washing up etc. But I’d really already gone into that in other stories, so I thought I’d just present her writing, and see if people got it. The chapter is about the creative processes, about imagination and reality and identity, about how as a writer you can’t help but delve into your past, or things that might have been if your life had turned out differently. My favourite author, Paul Auster, once said that his books are often about what his life could have been. Dia’s story is supposed to be inspired by the newspaper article at the beginning, by the death of her lover from twenty years before, and how that fires her creativity. I didn’t go into the rooms at the Pelirocco Hotel (where some of it is set) until after I’d written it, because I wanted it to be in her imagination. I wanted it to be dreamy and fleeting and full of other influences, I read romantic poetry and gothic novels and listened to melancholy love songs. I really enjoyed wallowing and I am immensely proud of what it produced.

How did you find a publisher?

Bizarrely, through an ad in Latest Homes! I didn’t try to get an agent first, which is what everyone says you should do (I still don’t have one). I sent the manuscript simultaneously to about 25 agents and publishers who accepted unsolicited manuscripts. I got a lot of positive feedback, even when the answer was no, and that spurred me on. One other publisher wanted it but it didn’t work out, it didn’t feel right, I felt they wanted me to change it too much. Revenge Ink got what I was doing immediately and the changes they suggested weren’t fundamental and only made it better. All in all, it took two years from submitting to them to the book hitting the shttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifhelves, which is incredibly quick. They are a gutsy independent and they go for modern, challenging writing without relying on celebrity or formulas and, in my humble opinion, the publishing industry needs more like them and less people commissioning ‘party books’ (you know who I’m talking about).

Thank you very much, Erinna. I wish you all the best with your next writing project. And I hope everyone will buy a copy of Starlings as a Christmas present!

You can also catch Erinna reading at Grit Lit tomorrow, Friday.

Sneaky Novel Peak at Ace Stories this Sunday

Now is your chance. For the first time ever I'm going to read a few short extracts from my English novel, UNDER THE LIP (aka Replacing Angel). At the moment my novel is under consideration for publication in both Sweden and the UK. It's just a matter of waiting, waiting and some more waiting.

So get your ass down to Hotel Pelirocco in Brighton this Sunday, 6pm.

Another good reason for coming along to Ace Stories is ... Sandy Dillon. And there's a chance of winning an electric guitar!

My Novel in November

No, I'm not taking part in NaNoWriMo. But I do have about 50 000 words on my new novel project. If you've read my previous posts here and here you know that each month I'm aiming for 10 000 words that move the story forward and aren't just general rambling.

In December I'm going to take a break from the novel though and focus on poetry and performing. Mainly because the words need to rest. I have written the beginning and the middle, but I kind of wrote the middle first and am not sure how to link the beginning and the middle, if I should actually start with the middle or not. I do have an end in mind, but it's very sketchy and there are several ways to write the story.

I haven't yet decided how much back-story/back-flashes I'm going to use and if there's going to be more than one narrative. It could be quite a straightforward or quite an experimental story depending on which route I take, and I suspect that like my previous two novels this one will also fall somewhere between the Adult and Young Adult genre.

The voice is also something I need to think about. I know whose story it is, but am not sure to whom she's telling it and why.

Counting Words & Drafting Shit

When I tell people that I'm aiming to write 10 000 words a month on my new novel they think that's a lot. I don't. It's only 2500 words a week, 500 words a day if you work 5 days a week.

It's mid October and so far this month I've managed to write 8500 words. So in total I've got 28500 words as I started in August. (I've written more words than that, but half of what I write is just random ramblings to find out what it is I'm trying to say, making notes etc.) I never used to obsess about word counts, but at the moment it does help me to move forward.

What inspires me is to hear how other writers work. I read a really good article about Jeffrey Eugenides in the free We Love This Book magazine. He has only written 3 novels with an interval of 9 years in between each novel. It doesn't mean that he's lazy - he's writing all the time, but it's just a matter of getting it right, without being a perfectionist. In the interview he said that his current novel, The Marriage Plot, grew out of the backstory he wrote for a character in an abandoned novel.

The novel I'm working on at the moment sort of started back in 2007 when I spent 5 months in Thailand, but at the time I was too close to the environment I was writing about, so now 4 years later I'm ready. However I'm still struggling with the voice and the structure and I have 2 different ideas of how to tell the story ... At the moment I'm just trying to get the story down, by writing it in a quite traditional way of first person, past tense, but it's very likely to change in the second draft.

Recently I heard Meg Rosoff speak at the YLG (Youth Library Group) Conference and she mentioned that her first drafts are so bad you want to commit suicide when reading them ... I feel the same about my first drafts. As mentioned in a previous blog post, I'm aiming for 10 000 words a month, and after 9 months I'm hoping to have a first draft, but not necessarily a good first draft. But keeping it down to 10 000 words a month will hopefully make the first draft better than if I was taking part in NaNoWriMo churning out 50 000 words a month just for the sake of it. By keeping it down to 10 000 words I'm hoping to keep more focus, to actually think about what I'm writing. (Many writers only write in November and then abandon their VERY shitty first drafts forever.)

Jennifer Egan says:

"I haven’t had trouble with writer’s block. I think it’s because my process involves writing very badly. My first drafts are filled with lurching, clichéd writing, outright flailing around. Writing that doesn’t have a good voice or any voice. But then there will be good moments. It seems writer’s block is often a dislike of writing badly and waiting for writing better to happen."

(I think I first found this quote on the A Salted blog, thanks! And the post-it note saying "shitty first drafts are allowed" probably comes from Julia Cameron but am not sure.)

Setting Your Own Deadlines

One reason I've never done any serious studying after I finished school is that deadlines set by other people really stress me out, to the point I get sick and can't sleep.

I prefer to set my own deadlines and goals. People tell me "oh, you must be so disciplined". Perhaps I am ... Or perhaps I'm just a control freak.

When I was in Sweden at the beginning of August, and got into working on my new novel project, I decided that I'd write 10 000 words a month. 10 000 okay or good words, not just any words which seem to be the case if you are a NaNoWriMo-Writer.

If I stick to 10 000 words a month, I should have a first draft of 90 000 words in 9 months time (yes, I like comparing writing to pregnancy even if I don't have any experience in this field ...)

Today is the last day of August and I've got 10 616 words. They are okay/good words, but by no means perfect words. Because at the same time I'm sticking to the advice on my post-it note: SHITTY FIRST DRAFTS ARE ALLOWED.

Seems like I'm contradicting myself, but this is how it works: I write as much rubbish as I can in a month, then I go back and edit, making sure I've got at least 10 000 words of connected paragraphs that make-up a continuous story.

Funnily enough I've been off sick from my part time job for two days ... I feel exhausted, as if some kind of bug is gnawing away on my body. Perhaps my own deadlines stress me out as much as other peoples' deadlines after all ...


(the photo was taken by Mimmi on a walk to Rottingdean the week before last, so no I haven't spent by days off sick on the beach, I've spent them in bed!)

The Weekend Novelist

I spent the weekend as the Novelist I keep reminding myself that I am. Working on a novel makes me happy, makes me feel I'm part of something bigger than myself. When I'm actually writing it feels like meditation. It's the worrying about writing that makes me unhappy. I wish I would remember this ...

Saturday I wrote my morning pages (3 pages of A4 in longhand as prescribed in the Artist's Way) in bed; had breakfast in the garden, reading a Virginia Woolf biography; spent time with my novel,doing exercises from The Weekend Novelist; went jogging; had dinner; spent a couple of hours working on the novel; went for a walk on the seafront to look at the full moon, contemplating my characters.

Sunday followed the same kind of pattern, but in the evening I went to Ace Stories at Hotel Pelirocco in Brighton to let myself get inspired by other writers (Cathi Unsworth, Danny Bowman, Stefania Mastrorosa)and outstanding musician & singer Sandy Dillon.

It's not only me who am The Weekend Novelist. It's also the title of a really good book. I previously worked through The Weekend Novelist Redrafts the Novel when I revised UNDER THE LIP, so I thought I'd give The Weekend Novelist a go. Unlike other creative writing books that tell you how to make believable characters and how to make a setting come alive etc. this books is very straight-forward and simple with exercises that gets you going.

I'm not following the book slavishly or anything, but I claim that The Weekend Novelist unblocked me when I was in Sweden. Just by doing exercises like finishing the sentence "This is a story about a character who ..." and then speed writing for ten minutes I really got a sense for where I'm going with my novel.

I'm still struggling with finding the right voice and the right structure, but at least I've started from the beginning again, trusting that things will work out, knowing that I can change things later. For now I'll just focus on getting the story down, staring at the post-it note on my wall saying SHITTY FIRST DRAFTS ARE ALLOWED. Today is Monday and I'm still a novelist. I know I'm on the right track when I do something else and ideas or thoughts about the characters and/or plot pop up in my head.

Out of Office

This summer I've been out of office a lot. Every time the sun shows its face I'm there. Swimming trunks on, grabbing a towel and walking - or rather skipping - to the beach.

A borrower (I know they are called "customers" now, but I prefer the old-fashioned word) in the library complimented me on my tan and asked if I'd been on holiday. I told her I'd been on my local beach, to which she replied "You're a good advertisement for Hove!"

My normal "office hours" are between 9-12 in the morning before I go to work in the library, but I find it very hard to sit by my desk in my bedroom when the weather is so welcoming ...(You Brits moan that you haven't had any summer but I tell you that most mornings have been pretty sunny!).

I don't know about any laptops that actually work well in sunlight ... but luckily I can still operate a pen and a notepad, so I have done some work, sitting on the beach, in parks or in the garden.

As I'm between novels (just like other people are between jobs or between relationship or between homes or whatever) I find it extra hard to place my bum on that office chair ...

I'm still struggling with some of the ingredients of my new novel project, but by jotting down notes, writing random scenes and drawing diagrams and making mind-maps I think that I'll get a dough together eventually ...

On Saturday I'm off to Sweden for ten days. One part of me is praying for rain. Rain means serious writing. Another part of me is dancing the sun dance. Sun means lake swimming.

Novel Ingredients

I have:
a setting
characters
conflict
themes

I don't have:
a structure
a voice


Can I still make a novel? Or will it be a bit like making a cake without sugar and butter ...?

Where the Book has No Name

Today I was interviewed by a Swedish radio station and they asked me about my new novel (UNDER THE LIP), but this novel in question is already starting to feel old to me...

I'm between novel relationships. I'm waiting for a publisher to take on UNDER THE LIP, and I've started a new project, but it's a bit like seeing a new man/woman when you're still clinging to your ex. (Which funnily enough has been my status in real life as well!)

So I find it very hard to fully give myself to this new novel project (that doesn't yet have a name) as any day my agent could email me with good news. But at least it feels like I'm making half-hearted love to this one idea now instead of sleeping around with different ones ... Yet it's far too early to label this affair, hence the "no name" ...

All over the place or in one place?

If you focus on something for five years and really believe in it you're going to be successful in one way or other. That's what my ex (who gets paid to travel to tropical countries to fix computers) told me while I was working on my debut novel. And almost exactly five years after I started writing seriously I had a novel published. I did focus on my novel writing and I really believed in it. But it's not always this simple ...

What is success anyway? Are you less of a novelist if you spend five years perfecting a novel, focusing on it and really believing in it and still not getting it published ...? The optimist in me wants to believe that those people don't exist, that they didn't try hard enough .... The realist in me doesn't want to wake up because I am a dreamer ...

Another person(in his early thirties)who is a poet, MC, songwriter and musician told me that he would've been successful by now if he had focused on one thing only. I'm not sure whether to agree or disagree. Surely these areas all feed into each other, but if you're pre-occupied by making a living and having a very rich social life it's tricky. It's also matter of how much you're willing to focus, how much you're willing to offer in terms of time and money.

I've been writing seriously in English since 2007, so according to the five year focus and belief I should be published by next year. But at the moment I'm all over the place ... I'm waiting for my agent to find a publisher for UNDER THE LIP (former REPLACING ANGEL). Waiting is not a very active space to be in so in the meantime ...

*I'm making notes on a new novel, note: making notes, not actually writing

*I'm writing random poetry

*I'm working with improvising jazz musicians

*I performing poetry

*I'm reading/performing short stories

*I'm taking voice classes

*I'm going to drop-in acting classes

*I'm going to drop-in 5Rhythms dance classes

*I'm lying down in the Alexander Technique semi-supine position

*I'm reading all sorts of stuff, fact and fiction

*I'm taking more photographs than my harddrive can handle

*I'm making collages (see picture)

But above all I'm working on getting to know my body. Hence the voice classes, acting classes, dance classes and the Alexander Technique. (I can't afford to do these things every week even if I wanted to do, but I try to do at least one physical thing every week).

All my life I've lived in my head, intellectualising all my actions. Now it's time for me to get in touch with my body, and I believe this will make me a better and more confident performer. Indirectly it will also help me with my novel work as a part of "the job" is to promote your novel, do readings etc.

I took out a book from the Children's Library simply titled The Inside & Outside Guide to Your Body. I'm fascinated by the fact that under my skin there is a skeleton. It's not like I didn't know before, but I finally understand that I've got a skeleton. I'm learning to breathe.

I could skip all this body work and just plunge into working on my new novel and ignore all the other parts of me. But at the moment it's more important for me to become a whole human being.

750 words a day

I first heard about 750 words from Chris Limb. 750 words is a website where you are encouraged to write 750 words about anything. (All privately). The advantage is that there's no spell- or grammar checker. Nothing to distract you. Just a screen where you type.

I'm not using this tool to write "just anything". I'm using it to write just anything that relates to my new novel idea/project/embyro. Could be anything from thoughts about the the theme or monologues written from the point of view of the different characters. I can't start writing about what I had for breakfast. If I find myself doing that I have to switch and write about what my characters had for breakfast ...

So far I've only done two days, but it has made me very happy. 750 words a day is so much better than 0 words a day. I'm aiming to keep it up for a month and by then I should have a big chunk of text to work with.

Attracting Lips

According to the law of attraction
you are likely to get more of what you think about and focus on. This week I've been thinking a lot about lips. Mainly because I need a new title for my novel. Below are a few ideas:

UNDER THE LIP
UNDER MY LIP
STUFF IT UP YOUR LIP
LIP SYNC
ONE FOR THE LIP

On Friday night I fell over on the pavement and hurt my lip. I wonder if I would have ended up with a black eye if I'd been thinking a lot about eyes ...

Me & My Book Baby

Nowadays some parents-to-be send pictures of their foetus as Christmas cards. So here's a Valentine's greeting to you all: me & my book baby ready to go to the doctor aka as literary agent.

I met the agent last week in his office, and he said my book foetus is mostly fine. It just needs some minor medical attention. This involves making the letters from one character to another more subtle, and yes ... I still have to cut out some of my Nick Cave references ...

I'm almost there, ready for the next health check-up, the one where every chromosomic line will be scrutinized.

And I have to think of a new name for my book baby. Replacing Angel has to go. What do you think of Under My Lip or Stuff it up your lip!? I know it's a girl, but the name can be androgynous ...

Photo: Barnaby Marriott

Two announcements:

ON WEDNESDAY 16 FEB, 8 PM, I'M DOING A POETRY GIG AT FLOETICS, RED ROASTER, ST JAMES STREET,KEMP TOWN, BRIGHTON

ON TUESDAY 22 FEB, 8 PM, A SHORT STORY OF MINE ON A SEXUAL THEME WILL BE READ OUT BY AN ACTOR AT ARE YOU SITTING COMFORTABLY?, THE BASEMENT, KENSINGTON ST, BRIGHTON

Re-entering Novelland & Working in Cafes

Last Monday I spent about 3 hours in Coffee Republic* in George Street Hove, sipping the same cold peppermint tea. I don't normally like going to chain coffee shops, but it feels more all right to spend hours in a big anonymous cafe than in a small funky cafe. Restaurants are the worst. I once got kicked out of the Regency, the manager telling me it wasn't an office ... I'd spent about 2 hours in there just ordering a coffee and had covered the whole table with files and books and pens ...

I printed the Replacing Angel manuscript and managed to read about half of it, making notes, and carried on reading the rest at home later in the week. I feel hopeful about it, and am looking forward to my planned week of novel revision work in January.

It's so nice to have a novel in my head again. It feels like the short stories I've written this year have "only" been one-night stands or love affairs, some amazing, some boring, but now when I'm in Novelland again it's like falling in love and entering a proper relationship.


*I applied for a job there when it first opened back in 2002, but after going for a group interview session where we had to make potato men I got a call saying I didn't have the right skills. Thank God!

Painting My Book Baby's Toenails

So, I've finally given birth to my book baby and it's a girl!
But I'm keeping her safe at home, am not ready to let the world see her yet.
I feel bad for wanting to beautify her, painting her toenails.

The 5th and final draft of Replacing Angel is finished.
But it's hard to leave her alone.
I wake up in the middle of the night
and think of sentences I want to polish.
I keep adding coats of nail varnish to her toenails.
Sometimes using aceton to remove things I don't like.

I guess you're never really finished.
You just have to set a date when you decide that you are not going to make any more changes and be happy with your creation, happy enough to let it engage with the world, i.e. send it out to agents.

I have drafted a cover letter, synopsis and some kind of CV and sent it to a very kind writing collegaue for feedback.

At the moment I'm doing some detective work, trying to find out who the best nanny for my baby is. (I'm going to approach the agents of some of my favourite authors to start with, and I also have a couple of recomendations that I want to investigate.)

Hopefully I'll send my baby off before my birthday on the 26th of Feb. I can't wait to have an evening off. Even if I'm out and about doing other stuff she's constantly on my mind ...

This Charming Man

Image: Knut Finstermeier

I've recieved some more feedback on Replacing Angel from writer Robert Dickinson. He read my novel in three settings on his train journey to work and said it was easy to read and well-paced. Overall he liked it, it was just one major problem ...

The same major problem I've had since I started writing this novel: the character called the Man. He's an annoying manipulative man who believes in conspiracy theories. Despite this all women fall for him. Do you know the type?

I've always been fascinated with the fact that so many women fall for complete psychos. So that's what I've been trying to write about. But I've failed. The Man is not charming enough. He doesn't have enough charisma. Three of my four critics have said the same thing: they can't understand why the main character Natalie falls for the Man. It's not enough to state that he's sexy. And he's not sexy in a traditonal way either ... He's got red hair.

So how can I make the Man more charming? How can I SHOW his charming side, rather than TELL it? Please help me!

Interview with myself

I read an interview on a Swedish blog and thought the questions were quite good so I decided to interview myself!

1. Do you have a writing schedule? E.g. every day an hour between 7 and 8 or do you write sporadically?

I'm very disciplined! Usually I write in the mornings between 9 and 12 before going to work at the library in the afternoon. Sometimes, if I feel inspired, I write in the evenings after work as well, but then I'm happy if it's only an hour. On my days off I tend to live in my nightie and I move between my bed, the kitchen and my PC all day with a break for a long walk or a coffee with a friend. All in all I manage to write about six hours on those days - and some of that writing is done in my head. Focused thinking is also writing.

2. Do you suffer from lack of inspiration sometimes or is it the other way round?

Sometimes I suffer from complete exhaustion. I don't want to write a single word, not even in my journal. It happens when life around me is too hectic and I haven't had enough time to chill out. Usually it happens when I've finished a big chunk of work, like completing a draft or a part of a draft.

3. Do you work on several projects at the same time? E.g. a thriller, some short stories and a childrens book etc.?

When I work on a novel it tends to take over my life and I find it very hard to work on other projects at the same time. However a couple of times a month I feel inspired to write a poem, it's a nice break from the tedious novel work as you can finish a poem in a week or a day even. There's also the satisfaction of performing poetry, of reaching out and showing the world that you are alive. So writing and performing poetry is my hobby. If I try to take the poetry too seriously I lose interest. It needs to be a fun thing.

4.How many books have you finished and sent off to agents/publishers?

I finished a novel called Mötet med Malva (Meeting Malva) in 2004. Then I completed Punkindustriell hårdrockare med attityd (Punk influenced hard rocker with attitude)in 2006 and it was published in 2007.

5. How many times have the same book been rejected? If so did you receive any constructive feedback?

Mötet med Malva was rejected by 11 publishers, but yes I did receive a couple of nice letters with relevant feedback. One publishing director even took me out to lunch and told me he was very impressed with my writing, but encouraged me to write something else. He gave me the useful advice "write what you know". Mötet med Malva was a novel I wrote pretty much to impress both myself and my friends, but there was no heart, no true feelings in it.

As most people know Punkindustriell hårdrockare med attityd got accepted, but by the time the book was finished the publishing director who had encouraged me had passed away and his company had gone bankrupt! Luckily I found another publisher. Again I sent it out to 11 (my lucky number) different ones and after a month one of them phoned me and offered me a contract. So I contacted the 10 other ones and said that my manuscript had been accepted. I'll never know if those other 10 would've said yes or no.

6. Do you feel bad if you haven't written for a few days?

Yeah, I feel restless in my soul. Something is lacking from my life. I feel boring, not my normal self. I get controlled by my feelings when I don't get that emotional release and a chance to step into another world for a bit.

7. Why do you write?

Because I can't help myself! It's part of who I am. As I'm originally a shy person I find it hard to express myself in day to day life, so the writing helps me with that expression.

I also have a need to work out certain issues and explore certain topics and I love doing that through my characters.

Another reason is that I've got an interest in documenting the time we are living in, telling people "this is what it's like", "this is my reality".

8. Have you had anything published that is available for reading?

Well, you could have a go reading Punkindustriell hårdrockare med attityd if you are willing to learn Swedish. I've had a few poems and a short story published in anthologies and magazines, but most of them are out of print. Sometimes I post poems at MySpace - at least that's something to read while you're waiting for my English novel Replacing Angel. At the moment I've just finished editing the 1st 3rd of the 4th draft ... I'll begin editing the 2nd 3rd as soon as I've received some more feedback from my editor.

9. Do you have anything you'd like to add? (my own question)

Yes, I saw Nick Cave (him and his lyrics have been a great inspiration while writing Replacing Angel) at Palace Theatre in London yesterday. It was a very nice surprise when P.J. Harvey entered the stage and did a song! There was no photo permission, but I managed to get one picture ...