Miming Silence & Altered Egos

Last week I went to the official launch party of Bernadette Cremin's poetry collection Miming Silence. Watching Bernie perform inspires me, fills me with joy (despite depressing subject matters), and makes me believe in poetry even if I'm having some kind of break from the scene at the moment.

Here is a favorite line from the poem Mother's meeting:
"and I do love him (in a water-colour way)
but I envy the way he loves me."

What I admire the most about Bernie is that she seems so natural (even when she is in the role of different characters!) and is not afraid of taking the piss out of herself.

Bernadette is also doing a one woman show in the Fringe Festival called Altered Egos. The first show is Sunday 2 May and the second one is Sunday 9 May, 7.30 pm Iambic Theatre (above Bell, Book & Candle shop, but entrance Regent Street.) Don't miss it! Tickets are 2 for 1.

Sparkling stories at SPARKS

The first time I went to the live short fiction event SPARKS upstairs at Three & Ten in Brighton I thought wow these writers are really good and it's really cool that a photo has been commissioned to go with each story; I wish it was me up on the stage ...

Yesterday that wish came true. I was quite nervous as I've never read a short story on stage before. When performing poetry I memorise all my lines and feel in control; somehow I find it more nerve-wracking having to read something from a piece of paper - especially as I've got this fear of pronouncing the words wrong. Another fear was that I would have to read my story, STEAL FROM THE RICH AND GIVE TO THE POOR, in front of a picture of a nipple as my story features a woman who's lost a nipple to a drunk plastic surgeon ... Luckily the photographer had chosen another scene from the story - a girl writing in a cafe.

SPARKS is a friendly event - hosted by the welcoming and charismatic Jo Mortimer - and I always appreciate talking to other writers and hearing their work. When cycling home along the sea my head was full of story snippets: (love?) notes hanging from a tree, bloody feet in rubber boots, a hotel room in Cairo, a lizard in a mouth, a person suffering from seasonal affective disorder, a mother preparing herself for something difficult ... you name it!

***

Today I had some bad and good news. My story LOVERS OF THE PLANET was not accepted for the next Short Fuse event at Komedia (Wed 14 April), but the good news is that I was really, really close to having my story chosen. The only problem seemed to be that it was a bit too long as they need a variety of short and long stories for the evening. So it's not really bad news at all - I'm actually really happy. It also mean that I can go to Bernadette Cremin's official launch of Miming Silence at Iambic Theatre that happens the same night. As if that wasn't enough the Are you sitting comfortably? short story event at the Basement is happening the same evening as well ... Brighton is great! The choice of three good events in one evening is amazing compared to one half good event every other month in my hometown ... But I think I'll have to write a story soon about being able to be in three places at the same time ...

Photo: Saskia Wesnigk-Wood . Big thanks also to Tim who videoed the whole event.

Change of Scene

I've been part of the Brighton Poetry Scene since 2004. I've been a regular at nights such as Brighton Poetry Society's Open Mic, Hammer & Tongue Slam, Floetics, Horseplay, Wordplay and of course Poets Cornered meetings. I've also done special gigs like Brighton&Hove Peace Festival, Shoreham Beer, Cider & Literature Festival, The Bass Festival, All arts Fiesta, The Poetry Marathon Poets Corner Festival etc. I've had a good time and made lots of friends.

Yet, after five years I've realised that it's bloody hard becoming a professional poet, even semi-professional. You constantly have to suck up to other people in order to get gigs and it's even harder to get poetry published. I'm torn between being a "stage poet" and a "page poet". There are few people who can really pull it off, being good both on stage and page, like Bernadette Cremin and Ros Barber.

What I want to say with this blog post is not that I'm going to stop performing or stop writing poetry, but I'm not going to dedicate as much time to poetry as I used to. It feels like I wrote my best poems and did my best performances 2-3 years ago, and since then I haven't really developed. To become better a poet I need to put in a lot of work: courses, training, studying etc. If I'd put as much effort into poetry and performing as I have put into my novels I'd be a "big star" by now :), but it's hard to succeed in more than one area.

Mainly I'm a novelist and I'm better at writing prose than poetry. I've recently discovered that there's quite a good live scene for short fiction in Brighton with events such as Short Fuse, Sparks, Are you sitting Comfortably? and the former Tight Lip. So I'll cut down on going to poetry events and focus more on the short fiction scene.

It's scary though, starting all over again. When I go to poetry events I feel very comfortable as I know a lot of people and they know me. It's funny that there's a completely different crowd that goes to short fiction events compared to poetry events. What I really like about the poetry scene is that everybody is welcome and everybody can have a go and you get a great mix of people. Of course everybody is welcome at the short fiction events as well, but the main difference is that you have to submit your stories in advance to the short fiction events and only a few get selected to be read on the night, whereas anyone can go up and do anything at a poetry open mic night. It makes the short fiction scene more competitive, but I understand that this is necessary. You can stand listening to a poem that is not to your taste for 5 minutes, but it's worse listening to a story for 15 minutes that is absolute rubbish, so I guess you need some kind of filter.

The reason I started to write poetry at all was that I needed a break from my novel writing, the satisfaction of actually completing something. Poetry used to be my hobby, but somewhere along the line I started to take myself too seriously ... I need to find the FUN again.

I also must admit that I love being on stage. I'm quite shy in real life and often worry about boring people and taking up to much space, but on stage I feel absolutely free: it's my time to speak. Being on stage is also an excuse to dress up. As I don't go clubbing on a regular basis, as I used to in my early twenties, I don't often get a chance to dress up ...

Lastly I'm interested in blog readers opinions: Why do so few people write both prose and poetry? Well, some poets write short stories, but very few write novels. And very few novelists writes poetry, but do write short stories. (As mentioned before you don't see many people from the poetry scene at short story events or many people from the short story scene at poetry events.) For me it's either poems or novels; I find that short stories are a real challenge and haven't written that many, but it's time for a change ...

Photo: Kristen Healy

What is Performance Art?

Last night I was lucky enough to witness the most real form of performance art. I went to an event called Horseplay (a monthly evening of spoken word and music at the Sanctuary) hosted by Ash Ffrench and Hattie Snooks.

Apart from enjoying pancakes and performances by The Bobby McGee's, Bernadette Cremin and Steve Larkin the audience got treated to a real surprise.

Before the main act came on Ash asked Hattie to turn her back to him on stage. He said a lot of nice things about her and how happy he was to be hosting Horseplay's 2nd birthday party with her. And all of the sudden he went down on his knees and proposed! Thoughts like "Is this part of the show?" crossed my mind ... and of course it was part of the show, but even so it was sincere and Ash & Hattie are getting married! (What made it slightly surreal was that Bernadette (who didn't have a clue and don't know the couple very well) blurted out "are you going to propose to her?" earlier in the evening.)

They might not agree with it being performance art, and I don't like labelling people, but I'm fascinated by the concept "performance art". In the beginning of January I went to see a show called "Kim Noble will die" at Soho Theatre in London. It was a one-man show where the artist/actor played himself as a suicidal desperado who handed out his own spunk in little plastic containers to the audience ... It might sound sick, but still there's nothing I like better when the line between truth and fiction, performance and real life is very thin.

While I'm on the subject I also have to mention that my best friend in Sweden married herself last year and about twenty people turned up to her ceremony. When she first thought of the idea she didn't intend to make art or put on a show or performance. It was other people starting to label it as performance art ...

And I think it's quite artistic to propose to someone on stage. Label or not.

Death & The End

Today I woke up feeling a bit like I look in the picture. (The picture is from the morning after a party back in September.) I don't know what brought on this feeling. I've been on a real writing high lately and I really enjoyed last night - went to a Halloween event at the Marlborough Theatre called Fear of the dark hosted by James Burt and Glue Gun91 with special guests Kay Sexton and Bernadette Cremin. I saw a swan and a woman dying on stage. Among other acts there was also a a sinister dog walker, a story about a gang of brutal clowns and a harp player.

Maybe my miserable morning is due too much alcohol. That's not true though - only three pints over the course of four hours.

Maybe my miserable morning is due to spending too much time in my own little bubble writing. That's not true either. I had a great time Saturday with Sue Pearson, walking about in town at the White Night. Sunday I met up with Sue again for our regular "creative meeting" where we encourage each other and exchange ideas. Monday I went to a new event as part of Write Club at the Skiff, hosted by Ellen de Vries and James Burt. Really refreshing! As I'm so serious about my novel work it was nice to do some exercises to get back into play mood. First we wrote for 15 min, then 10, 5 and finally 2 minutes. As inspiration we looked at four different pictures. I found it quite a challenge to write about the abstract ones ...

Maybe my miserable morning is due to that I found out that someone I thought was travelling died before she even left the country ... and that was a year ago. This might be true. I didn't know this person very well, but it still shocked me.

So ... I have to get myself together. The final feedback on Replacing Angel has arrived from my editor (who was one of the people in the show yesterday!). I've worked on the first two thirds, so that leaves me with the third third - the end. I'm happy with the end, but again there are some gaps to be filled in. I need to write about a bittersweet goodbye. And one of the characters who's in the background most of the story now needs to get a lot of space - as she plays an important role in the end ... Apparently I also need to work on my sex scenes ... Tough as my interest in sex is as big as my interest in the life of frogs at the moment.

Jelly Inc.

Jelly Inc. was formed about three weeks ago.
The intention was to put on a gig at Bombanes restaurant in Kemp Town.
It was a very chaotic meeting and we all left feeling
how is this ever going to work out!?
Another meeting and two and a half rehearsals later
we were stars in a show called What now!?

Call it poetry. Call it play. Call it cabaret. Call it whatever you want.

We all played two characters each:
professor of philosophy/barman
poetry teacher/new age woman
poetry-hating Swedish punk/waitress in love
pregnant housewife/cocktail queen

You get the idea: Expect the unexpected!

Some people who came to see the show said it was good enough
to be in Brighton Fringe next year!

Jelly Inc. is:
Pitski
MsMerized
Bernadette Cremin
Lou Ice

Did I mention that we take bookings ...?


SEE IT...HEAT IT...EAT IT...LOVE IT!